5 things I wish someone had told me
I often wish I had a time machine like the souped up DeLorean in Back to the Future so I could go back and tell younger me some things.
If someone had told me these things years ago (and I had listened), I would have saved myself countless heartache and pain. There are more, but these are the main ones.
Nobody cares as much as you do.
They don’t, you know. Your employees will never care as much about your business as you will, your spouse will never think your business is a cool as you do, and your friends are sick of hearing about your business. Get used to it, because as time goes by, you and the rest of the world have less and less in common. They do not understand us, and if they thought they could get away with it, they would send us all away somewhere.
There is only one person you can trust.
And that is you. Friends, lovers, parents, siblings, business partners will all let you down. One day you will find your best friend has left with your wife and your best employee has left with your top 4 accounts. The check that you were promised 6 weeks ago was in the mail is not going to show up, and the guy who wants you to call back later with your pitch is not going to buy anything.
The good news is that while you cannot trust anyone else, you can trust yourself. While the rest of the world is dependent on others, you can execute faster, drive deeper and generally get a leg up on those who have been let down by their team.
You are going to fail. A lot.
And that is O.K. In fact, it is great. Most of the things you work on will not work out, certainly not as you planned them. If you are too tied to outcomes, you will be disappointed. A lot.
Failure is a learning experience; nothing more. Much like a child learning to walk, you will fall down. The secret is to not stay down.
The game is rigged.
The one thing I know for certain is this: 100 years from now, you will be dead. You are not getting out of this game alive, and there are no do-overs. Ask yourself this: “If the game is rigged and there is no way to get out alive, why in the hell would I want to play a conservative game?”
100 years from now, no one will care.
Not a soul. Your great grandchildren will not even know your first name. At best, your name will get brought up at family get-togethers. Before you get too wrapped up in your problems, ask yourself if it will matter 100 years from now. Odds are that it will not.
Update: I wrote a follow up post to this one you may want to read: The Power of Negative Thinking
Excellent points.
But as you indicated, being told wouldn’t be enough. Even if we were told, most of us wouldn’t have listened. Some things we just have to learn from experience.
@ Lillie-
so true, so true…
Your wife will run off with your best friend, and lovers cannot be trusted? Wow, I thought I had trust issues.
@ Denise-
I think a little paranoia is a good thing. After all, just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
How about the 5 Things I now try to teach others - (maybe there is a meme here if that is not too annoying)
#1) Perception is reality - It is not what you say, it is what others think you said that matters.
#2) Focus is not narrow-mindedness - Some unimportant things become VERY important if they are ignored for too long. Family, taxes, and common courtesy to name a few.
#3) Just because you can, does not mean you should - The singing fish, the AMC Pacer, and Warren Buffet running for President.
#4) A map must be usable to be useful - Clarity is not automatic. Just because your “map” makes sense to you does not mean it will make sense to anyone else. (See points on Presentation below).
#5) Charge more than it costs - The sum total of the effort should be worth the investment.
Strong insights you’ve got there. Reading your entry in a way is an eye-opener specially for aspiring entrepreneurs like me. Thank You!
Jesus! do you write country and western songs? Play it all backwards and you get your wife, your car and your house back.
The secret is to get your people to feel part of it all.
Involve them. let them know how important they are to it all.
If you keep it all to yourself ’cause your frightened to let the information out, then you are doomed to failure.
Stop thinking about the title “entrepeneur” and get on with creating strong, fresh, inspired product and services. Yes even art. The money flows in to creators not entrepeneurs.
Ah you’ll learn.
take a look at http://www.thebaldchemist.com for some decent advice. Take care and good luck.
good tips - especially the 100 years one.
Roger– I like yours a LOT better. Baldchemist, I agree. If you expect people to put your interests above their own, yes, people (including wives) will likely disappoint you. On the other hand, I’ve known some awfully successful ‘entrepreneurs’ (who usually prefer to be called plain old ‘businessmen’) who got that way by making sure other people’s interests coincided with their own.
Since he can no longer speak for himself, perhaps I can put my small businessman grandfather’s maxims into words:
1. Business is about service.
2. Don’t expect anyone to work harder for your business than you’re willing to work yourself.
3. If you treat people well, they’ll come back.
Number of businesses owned: 3
Number of marriages: 1
Length of time in both: well over 50 years
Crises survived: 2 World Wars, 1 Great Depression
Oh– and yes, his great-grandchildren still do remember his first name.
Baldchemist-
LOL! No, I do not write country and western songs (but I see your point).
Sarah-
A careful reading of my points and those you extrapolated from your Grandfather will show no disagreement between the two (especially my #1 and his #2). Yours are just more “feel good”.
Your points are so true, shame we can’t do much about it lol!!!
“If the game is rigged and there is no way to get out alive, why in the hell would I want to play a conservative game?”
I like this… as a guy who had his formative years playing 8/16 bit games It’s an excellent analogy.
Although, If you use up all your ammo on the first level… the rest of the game is impossible.
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