The Power of Negative Thinking
As you can tell from the sidebar, my most popular post ever is 5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me. I cranked that one out in early summer of 2007, and honestly, I did not plan for it to be some great post; I just sort of threw it out there. It is six times more popular than my next most popular post, Are you Selling What Your Customer Wants To Buy?.
That being said, it amazes me that people either love it or hate it. The emails and comments I have gotten over that post either lean toward telling me I am full of it, or telling me that they love it and wish they had heard it sooner.
The theory behind those 5 things is a guiding force in my life, however, and I thought I would expound on it and perhaps they will make a bit more sense.
For all the talk about the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking, I also believe in the power of negative thinking, or put another way, the assumption of a negative outcome. Let me explain:
Most of the things you attempt, will fail. If you are a salesperson, most of the people you call on will turn you down. If you are looking for a mate, most of the people you go out with will not work out. If you are learning a new skill, you will mess up a lot on your way to mastery.
Now, instinctively, we all know this. However, we all assume the new job will work out, that the marriage will work, that everything will work out. The moment that happens, you give up options. I believe that you are free to the extent you have options.
Behind those 5 points is the belief that most things will not work out, so you need to keep your options open. You need to strive to have as many deals, as many promotions, as many options open as possible. You need to assume on the front end the worse possible outcome, because, more than likely, that is what will happen.
To believe anything else is to ignore history, to ignore what you have experienced in your own life and what you have observed. To ignore all of that seems, to me anyway, irrational.
I owe much of this philosophy, believe it or not, to Dale Carnegie. In his book How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, he said if you imagine the worst possible outcome to a situation often you will see it really just is not that bad. It might not be desirable, but it is usually something from which you can recover. I went one step further and decided to assume that the worst case would happen and plan for it. By doing this, I removed it’s power over me and the fear of being tied to the outcome.
Now, this does NOT make me a pessimist. To the contrary, I am perhaps the most optimistic person I know. I am able to be an optimist, however, because of my assumption on the front end that things could not work out and I have taken that into consideration in my planning. I know that because most things will not work out, I need to plan for that from the very beginning.
Now, I know this is not very warm and fuzzy cheery thought stuff; if you want that, you are at the wrong blog. You should go back to the nursery and eat your cookies and milk; you will be much happier.
If, however, you are about taking control of your life, taking charge of your situation and deciding your own destiny, then you should really give the power of negative thinking a try. You might just be surprised.
[...] Update: I wrote a follow up post to this one you may want to read: The Power of Negative Thinking [...]
i think people overlook the importance of negative thinking, because its just as powerful if not more so than positive thinking. if you practice positive thinking, dont practice negative thinking!
I agree wholeheartedly with this, obviously. The key to negative thinking is balance. We’re beaten over the head with having to be positive all the time, when a negative thought would be more productive and better suited for the outcomes.
Never fear negative thoughts. Look at them, understand them and see the usefullness in them. You can avoid so many problems and obstacles that way.
Craig-
Thanks for stopping by. I agree, balance is the key. That is one very cool website, by the way.
Good post. I guess I am a negative thinker. I always tend to look too far into the future with possible “what if’s.” Sometimes I wish I wasn’t like this though, I’m sure it keeps me from doing some productive things.
Barry, I used to think like you and I have learned that it was holding me back. Best advice is to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Be pragmatic in your business. Hugh’s reference to “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” is a great start. It won’t come to you overnight but with practice you will find balance in taming your negative thoughts.
This is a post everyone should read. It is so tough to stay positive sometimes, especially if you are being realistic at the same time!
But you have to keep trying to maintain that balance AND stay positive, or you can easily end up pretty unhappy.
This is really great… this is a really great way to look at things as long as you don’t get caught up in self-doubt the assumption that since nothing is going to work out anyway, that it’s not worth trying. Expecting the worst, but hoping for the best usually results in a pretty great feeling of success when something does work out well. Thanks for the advice!
You make some excellent points here. I agree that thinking “what’s the worst possible outcome” is a good way to eliminate fear. Because many times you will realize that the WORSE possible outcome isn’t nearly as bad as your mind had you believe it would be.
Also, I like your point about leaving options open. When people are extremely optimistic about something working out for them, they tend to feel much worse when it doesn’t work the way they planned.
However, Lyman over at http://creatingabetterlife.net/2007/09/13/warning-this-post-may-be-detrimental-to-your-negative-thoughts/ makes a good point about positive thinking that I think a lot of people don’t understand.
Positive thinking the “right way” isn’t denying that something bad might or did happen, or pretending that everything is perfect when it is not. (or “going to nursery and eating cookies” as you put it!)
Positive thinking by his definition seems to actually agree with your point about taking charge of your life. It’s about not getting so upset and negative when something bad happens that it ruins your whole day, but choosing to view negative situations in a different light so you can effectively overcome whatever obstacles come your way.
At least, that’s what I got out of the article!
For the most part I agree with you, but I still have some reservations. Great post though!
As a Vietnam Vet once told me, “Bubba, what are they going to do to me kill me? How bad could it be?”.
He was right, and it calmed me down and has ever since then.
This is actually the first time I have read a post that shared my view on negative thinking. Whenever I have started something new I have always determined the worse possible scenerio and planned on how I would deal with it. I also thought of the positive outcomes who doesn’t. But if your first failed idea takes you totally out of commission how are you going to move onto your second or third idea. Im amazed by the number of people who are doing a business and if you ask what they are going to do if X Y or Z doesnt work out and they tell you “I dont think about that because that is negative thinking”.
I wrote a post recently that touched on the perils of avoiding negative thinking called “How to Go Bankrupt in Real Estate”
http://activerain.com/blogsview/127899/A-Guide-to-Going
I’ve always had the same mantra, “Expect the worst and hope for the best”. This way you are never dissappointed. It’s a good way to be sure you always know the reality of the decisions you make. Frankly, if you’re not real with yourself who will be?