I’m not really into technology, but I follow and read a lot of technology folks.

H’mmm, that’s not quite right. I obviously use tech - like I am right now! - but I don’t really care how it works. I’m sort of like the guy who drives a hi-performance car, but has no desire to actually understand how fuel injectors actually work. I can change the oil and know to rotate the tires, but have no desire to actually build my own car.

So, anyway, I read and follow Ben Werdmuller, who leads technology at ProPublica. And I loved his recent post on what the tech-bros love to call “Lifestyle Design”.

In it, he talks about what he wants out of life, and by extension, what he thinks should be made available to everyone. It’s not just the sort of life he wants, but the sort of world he wants to live in. It sounds like a great place.

But he hit on something that has given me fits for the two decades I have been working for social change.

My values are simply that everyone should be able to live this sort of life, regardless of who they are or where in the world they live. Everyone deserves autonomy, connection, support, safety, and the freedom to be themselves and express themselves openly. It’s not just that I want this for me, although clearly I do: I want to work towards this being an open, shared set of living principles that are available to all.

I’ve thought a lot about helping the world get there — remember, I want to work on projects with the potential to make the world more informed and equal. But the path to helping me get there is a little different. It involves carefully choosing the projects I work on, the team cultures I take part in, how I make money, how I present myself to the world, and the people and communities I associate with.

That part in the second paragraph about the difference between helping the world get there, and you getting there. That part right there.

I spent years sacrificing my housing arrangements so that others could have adequate housing. Years sacrificing my health so others could have adequate healthcare. Years turning down things that would benefit my family so that I could work to make other people’s families safer.

I’m no longer willing to do that.

I’m deeply committed to a better world for everyone. And it still occupies my thoughts, my work, and my plans. But I no longer believe that it requires I set myself on fire to keep others warm.